Facts on Children in Abusive Families
Domestic violence is a crime against all
family members, but its saddest victims are children. Seventy-percent of
children living in violent homes are themselves physically abused or seriously
neglected.
When children witness abuse, or are abused, they are seeing, hearing and learning about violence. They learn that the people you love most, may hurt you, that living in fear is normal, and that violence is the way to handle conflict. As they learn, a generational cycle begins in which children grow up to be victims and abusers as adults.
For children, the effects of domestic violence are devastating. Some of the major effects are:
Emotional/Behavior Problems:
Anxiety
children worry about when the next outbreak of violence will occur.
Fear
children are afraid that one parent will die or be seriously injured.
Guilt
Children think the abuse is their fault.
Confused Feelings
Children are upset by their mixed feelings of love and hate for parents and of fearing though wanting to be with the abuser.
Lack of Trust
Children have difficulty in forming positive relationships due to lack of parental nurturing.
Poor Self-esteem
Children inherit low self-esteem from parents.
Aggressiveness
Many children "act out" violence they witness at home.
Passiveness
Some children are overly eager to please any adult.
Role Reversal
Children are often placed in the parental or caretaker role, because the parents are too involved in the abusive situation to adequately address the family's needs.
School Problems
Children want to stay home, because they think they can control the abuse. This results in truancy, poor attention span, grade failing and dropping out.
Depression
Children feel overwhelmed by their inability to stop abuse, and in some cases children are suicidal.
Physical Problems:
Developmental Delays
Children are often behind developmentally, due to lack of parental nurturing and stress. In babies, this takes the form of failure to thrive.
Speech Disorders
Children develop speech disorders as a result of stress.
Stress-Related Ailments
Children often complain about headaches, stomach-aches, and feeling bad. Children are accident prone. Children may wet the bed.
Physical Abuse
Children are often themselves victims of abuse.
When They Grow Older
Children who experience violence at home, often turn this violence out on the community. A high percentage of juvenile delinquents are battered children. Eight percent of men in prisons grew up in violent homes. In murders by boys ages 11-20, 63% killed the men who were abusing their mothers.
Often teenagers from violent homes turn to drugs and alcohol. Many escape into early marriages and/or pregnancies.
Violence is a learned behavior. Many children who witness abuse grow up to repeat the behavior as spouses and as parents. Seventy-three percent of batterers witnessed violence as children.
When children witness abuse, or are abused, they are seeing, hearing and learning about violence. They learn that the people you love most, may hurt you, that living in fear is normal, and that violence is the way to handle conflict. As they learn, a generational cycle begins in which children grow up to be victims and abusers as adults.
For children, the effects of domestic violence are devastating. Some of the major effects are:
Emotional/Behavior Problems:
Anxiety
children worry about when the next outbreak of violence will occur.
Fear
children are afraid that one parent will die or be seriously injured.
Guilt
Children think the abuse is their fault.
Confused Feelings
Children are upset by their mixed feelings of love and hate for parents and of fearing though wanting to be with the abuser.
Lack of Trust
Children have difficulty in forming positive relationships due to lack of parental nurturing.
Poor Self-esteem
Children inherit low self-esteem from parents.
Aggressiveness
Many children "act out" violence they witness at home.
Passiveness
Some children are overly eager to please any adult.
Role Reversal
Children are often placed in the parental or caretaker role, because the parents are too involved in the abusive situation to adequately address the family's needs.
School Problems
Children want to stay home, because they think they can control the abuse. This results in truancy, poor attention span, grade failing and dropping out.
Depression
Children feel overwhelmed by their inability to stop abuse, and in some cases children are suicidal.
Physical Problems:
Developmental Delays
Children are often behind developmentally, due to lack of parental nurturing and stress. In babies, this takes the form of failure to thrive.
Speech Disorders
Children develop speech disorders as a result of stress.
Stress-Related Ailments
Children often complain about headaches, stomach-aches, and feeling bad. Children are accident prone. Children may wet the bed.
Physical Abuse
Children are often themselves victims of abuse.
When They Grow Older
Children who experience violence at home, often turn this violence out on the community. A high percentage of juvenile delinquents are battered children. Eight percent of men in prisons grew up in violent homes. In murders by boys ages 11-20, 63% killed the men who were abusing their mothers.
Often teenagers from violent homes turn to drugs and alcohol. Many escape into early marriages and/or pregnancies.
Violence is a learned behavior. Many children who witness abuse grow up to repeat the behavior as spouses and as parents. Seventy-three percent of batterers witnessed violence as children.